SWAT vs. Private Poker Games

While Congress and the Statehouse continue to try and make a buck off of online poker, the local police are having their own fun by raiding poker games held in VFW halls and at private homes.  Don't think this kind of thing can happen at your next Lodge game or home poker party?  We'll let Drew Carey tell you all about a VFW poker game raid at  http://reason.tv/video/show/172.html and you can watch the newscast of the raid on a home game here http://www.wyff4.com/r/25628439/detail.html thanks to the Channel 4 news team this past November.  It is interesting to see the conflicting reports given by authorities and those reported by players in the home game (see http://www.holdempokerchat.com/forum/poker-life/50750-greenville-county-s-c-gambling-raid-jayman2411-we-just-haveing-good-time.html ).  I guess the moral of the story is that the next time you play cards at your lodge or neighbor's home be sure to wear a bullet proof vest, bring bail money along with the cash for your buy-in, and duck and cover if someone starts knocking at the door.

Save us from our EVIL ways!

I recently had the opportunity to discuss on air the issues surrounding gambling with Kent Ostrander from the Family Foundation.  While as a Christian and a Conservative I appreciate his efforts to help those in need and promote the values associated with the classic nuclear family model, I do not appreciate the tactics and “facts” that groups like his use to try and support their point of view.  Throughout the discussion he kept referring to the “widely accepted” percentages of problem gamblers and made his case with heartbreaking stories of grandmothers eating cat food and husbands who had lost their family homes due to their degenerate gambling.  When folks start quoting “widely accepted” figures I am always reminded of Mark Twain’s belief that there are three types of falsehoods: lies, damn lies, and statistics.

The stats Mr. Ostrander quoted during the show for degenerate gamblers were as solid as smoke.   They would start around 3% and grow as his ire for the issue of installing instant racing games or other video lottery terminals inside Kentucky racetracks.  God forbid we install gambling devices INSIDE a gambling facility….what’s next?  Beer machines inside bars?  But what are the REAL numbers?  I will give Kent credit that he fessed up during the discussion and admitted he could not cite his figures.   As a nurse, I’m quite familiar with reviewing medical journals and studies and finding the prevalence of diseases and other disorders.  A quick Google search and review of serious research studies available from reputable medical organizations like the American Psychiatric Association demonstrate an incidence rate of about 1 – 2% for pathological gambling as defined by the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).  Of course the thought of beer machines in bars is silly… especially since we don’t want to increase your odds of becoming an alcoholic (which is about 1 in 18 according to The National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism).

But let’s not be so quick to forget those starving old people anxious to throw away their life savings at the nickel slots.  Obviously any expansion of gambling would greatly increase the poverty level throughout the state as feared by our friends from the Family Foundation.  These sob stories harken me back to the same claims made when the state started the gateway drug of all gambling…the dreaded Lottery.  Other than Catholic Church bingo, nothing has sent our precious elderly and simple minded townsfolk over the financial cliff like so many lemmings as has the dreaded Powerball.  I lie awake at night with frightful visions of grannies and farmers clutching Pick 3 slips as they sink deeper into poverty crying out “why oh why did you not stop us?” Never mind the fact that since the introduction of the lottery in Kentucky in 1989, Kentucky families living in poverty have lessened by 13.9% and individuals by 8.9% per Census Bureau figures.

So I’m begging you to ignore the facts and pay attention to what our good friends at the Family Foundation are telling us and let them protect us from our evil and degenerate gambling ways.  Their lobbying activities are not evil like the ones we’ve been involved with through the Poker Players Alliance.  This is for our own good…..they know better than we do about what is good for us all.  Despite the freedoms we are endowed with as Americans, we simply cannot be trusted to make adult decisions for ourselves.  Thank goodness we have far smarter, and far more pious, people looking out for the rest of us cattle.  God bless, good night and remember to drive safely!

Coach Travis

The Story of Our Song....

The Star Spangled Banner is Our Song.....the song of our country.  If you've always wondered what the words of the song meant, enjoy this video.  But be prepared to get a lump in your throat and a tear in your eye!

New Year Resolutions

First, let me again thank Diddy for having me out to his big New Year bash.  I had a wonderful time and really enjoyed the case of Ciroc Vodka he sent home with me.  Next, lets talk about 2011 and this whole issue of resolutions.  I'm not big on making resolutions (especially with such an epic fail rate on 'em).  What I do like is to set goals for the year ahead.  Here a few of mine for 2011:

1.  PLAY BETTERER:  My live game has really been shaping up well with a couple of solid money wins lately and I feel pretty confident on my live game at the moment.  My goal for 2011 is to continue this improvement with the final outcome being winning the Kentucky State Poker Championship and cashing in in this year's WSOP.  Even with the loss of the prop bet with the Geeks on Poker requiring me to wear a kilt to the KY Championship, I feel pretty confident in my ability to cement my place as the #1 Hold'em Player in the state!

2.  EXPAND THE BRAND:  Brian Elmore and I have been kicking around the idea of cutting a pilot for ICN2 and presenting it to Insight for consideration.  The show will be called TWO GUYS & A SIX-PACK and I think we have a chance of being more popular than other ICN2 offerings such as Weather Overnight, The Quilters Corner and Mannix.

3.  CHECK OFF THE F---IT LIST:  Every married couple has their dream list of people we would give our spouse a pass on if they got the chance to knock boots.  My wife's list includes such celebs as Brad Pitt, Antonio Bandares and Johnny Depp.  I think this year might be my chance to check at least one off my list.  Let's see, I have Selma Hayek, a Pirate Hooker and Stripper Cyborg on my list.  Despite the second restraining order, I still hold out hope for a booty call with Selma.  I think I'm still a good decade away before technology can perfect a half human/half robot stripper.  That leaves the real possibility for the Pirate Hooker.  Now, I'm not talking about some hooker dressed up in some costume or role playing.  I'm talking a full fledged pirate with peg leg and parrot who has grown tired of her hijinks on the high seas and has come to port for a little barnacle bumping.  Hubba Hubba....ahoy mateys!  With all the news of pirates getting shot off of Somalia this year there has got to be a seaside seductress ready to hang up her cutless and g-string.

4.  SHAPE UP:  LPS Jack has set the bar high for weight loss lately and I feel the need to shed a few extra pounds myself in 2011.  Not so much for the reasons you might normally think...nothing wrong with being a big sexy beast....However, my weight to alcohol rate is out of the stratosphere.  It takes me at least a case of beer to feel a buzz anymore.  I calculate that if I lose 25 lbs, I can lower that buzz rate to a mere 18 pack of Coors Light.  Thus, saving me around $25,000 in beer money alone this next year.  With that kind of bank I can finish my mancave off right and still have change left to invest in Stripper Cyborg technology.

That's it.  Those are my goals for 2011.  Some are lofty and others quiet attainable....I'm talking to YOU Selma!  Stay tuned to keep track of my progress this year in meeting my goals for 2011!